"Letting Go"

​

I'm letting go of my notion of control 

Your palms are the Dead Sea

Hold me please so I can float 

My limbs are spread wide as if to hug the sky

I let the salt seep into my blood and the rush of freedom's got me high

My head's half under water and I let my eyes wander 

I don't have to be afraid of breathing deeply anymore because the buoyancy has got me floating lighter than before.

The water is clear

and still

and warm

and tingles against scabbed over wounds and soothes my pain and carries my heavy body even with all my extra weight from generations back

Track the trauma, swim out of the story and repeated dramas

Your life is an anecdote in someone else's novel so rewrite the next chapter

Draw words from heart

to brain

to limb

to life

at least to have something to show for your time. 

Live like you've just arrived 

Devour the world whole so you can save time flossing

Live with so much passion and fervor and drive that you bounce off the ceiling then tell everyone that it's okay to be afraid of heights as long as they keep trying to reach for them anyway.

Shatter through the glass

Pick the shards out of your hair on the

way up and

out and

beyond and

drop them like crystal raindrops and watch them shimmer on the concrete

 

I know.

 

Change is far fetched

You're out of breath and skeptical and second guess every possibility of getting better, being happy, sustaining that abstract flow of ecstasy or obtaining a vessel big enough to file away your dreams for another day

I know you think it's too early to plan out your realistic fantasies but I believe it's a bit too late

Peeking at the blueprints isn't cheating fate

We make our own rules. 

You make the space and the universe provides the tools 

Life is not a race

It's a playground for fools and wise men alike so

be kind

and play nice. 

Change is possible.

Existence is sobering, and so is unconditional love

I guess I've been half drunk my whole life because I've never felt more awake than when I'm allowing myself to exist with no judgements or counterfeits and can accept love

which is such a limiting word for the feeling I get when I write poetry on the notes app on my phone at twenty-past-midnight

and when I talk to my brother even with 5000 miles between our physical bodies

and when I get a text from my crush and blush like I'm 16 again

and when I fall asleep on the bus knowing I don't have to worry because the last stop is mine

and when I eat winter strawberries when they're just past ripe and their juice drips through my fingers red and sweet and I crunch each one of their one thousand seeds between my slightly yellowing teeth and let myself be breathed into and float

 

I feel most loved when I let go.